Bet Me (Finding My Way) Page 8
“I didn’t know what was happening, I thought you regretted it. I thought you were ashamed of what we did. Then when I saw you the next day and you said that you were at a hotel, I lost it.
“I should have let you explain. I should have asked you to speak to me in private. I should never have lost my temper with you. More importantly I should never have said what I did about what we did the day before. What I called you after telling you that I used you. To this day I still don’t know why you didn’t try to kill me. You didn’t even say anything horrible to me though, you never said anything bad to me or about me.
“I also want to apologize about what happened in the office at the club. It shouldn’t have happened. I shouldn’t have followed you in there and I shouldn’t have kissed you.
“Since I came here you have welcomed me back into your life and treat me the same as you treat all your other friends when you shouldn’t even have to look at me. I know that I don’t deserve to have you in my life at all, you’re too kind and you’re so happy, I don’t want to have the chance to be able to ruin that for you … again” He shakes his head and looks down into his cup.
I honestly don’t know what to say to that, I want to tell him that he should regret it all, but I can’t because I don’t. I want to tell him none of it matters but it does. I try to put what I feel into words, searching deep through the emotions that I feel towards him.
“I appreciate you saying all of that and taking the time to come here and apologize to me. But, there really is nothing to be sorry for. Yes at the time I was hurt, angry and humiliated. You were one of the reasons I left but I’m not mad at you for that, for any of it.
“I don’t look back and regret anything, okay, maybe the whole telling Beth stuff, but it doesn’t matter anymore. I don’t know if you’ll understand, but when I left that room, I never planned on leaving.
“Sure I was mad as hell and thinking about ways I could torture you, but then I was sat on my bed and I remembered all the nights you stayed with me, just because when you were there I didn’t have nightmares. I remembered all the times we spent laughing and bickering. I loved you. When I was with you I was happy. I hadn’t been that happy since before my dad died. That was nine years I didn’t realize I was unhappy for. You showed me that my life didn’t have to be the hell it was. That gave me the strength I needed to move away.
“I don’t regret a single second I spent with you, the good or the bad, the laughing, the bitching all of it because you saved my life and not just by literally tackling the man who tried killing me but by just being in my life, you pulled me out of the hell I was living and into the light.
“And Tucker, for that I will always be grateful and I will always owe you. If it wasn’t for you doing that, I don’t know where I would be right now.” I wipe away the tear that’s silently rolling down my cheek. “You have no idea that means to me” I finish glad that he came over here because I would have avoided this for as long as I could. But now I know how much I’ve needed to tell him what he did for me.
I will always love him for it and maybe that’s why no one ever comes close to meaning as much to me has he does. To me, he means true happiness.
“You never fail to surprise me, you have had so many terrible things happen to you, yet you can turn them around and only see the good,” he shakes his head “I completely understand what the guys mean when they ask if you’re real”
“I’m far from perfect Tucker, people only see what I want them to see, no one sees when the simple things set me off into a full blown tantrum. No notices when sometimes just one word can make want to cry or hit someone. No one notices when I’ve been up all night crying because everything is just too much for me to handle. No one notices that when something has triggered a rough memory for me, I immediately do something to take my mind off it. No one notices that I do everything I can to avoid being alone with a man because deep down the fear is still there. Ridiculous I know, but my point is no one notices any of this stuff because no one sees past the smile”
“The people who care about you do” he says softly but firmly.
“They don’t,” I shake my head at him and smile sadly “Ask anyone, Lucy, Andrew, Mel, Jess, any of them, ask them why I do the bets, how the whole thing started, what they won’t tell you is that it started from me and Andrew having a conversation about scars and then me suddenly changing the subject and betting him that I can balance a jug of beer on my head,” I laugh at the memory “Ask them why my ‘boyfriends’ don’t last longer than a month, they won’t tell you it’s because I avoid being alone with them and the men give up trying as soon as they catch on.
“Why do you think out of all the types of businesses in the world that you can I buy, I bought a club? Because it’s always full of people” I shrug “No one sees past the bullshit, they only see what they want. Some see me as the girl who likes to have fun with her friends. Some see me as a woman that knows how to increase business. Some see me as a cock tease. Some see me as a careless young girl with too much time and money on her hands. Some people see me as a girl who has worked her way through eighty percent of the men who go to the club and finally, some people see me as just a normal person, they’re the ones I like the best” I laugh quietly,
“So no I’m not perfect. I’m still as fucked up as I always was, the only difference is that now I’m happy with it. I accept it and make the best of it.”
I watched confused as he gets up from the table, I walk to the kitchen doorway to watch what he’s doing. He doesn’t say another word to me and doesn’t look back as he leaves my house and walks away.
“Well that went well” I sigh to the empty kitchen and snort; I do not need to start talking to myself as well.
I meet up with Jess and Lucy for lunch, still a bit confused by Tucker’s behaviour this morning. I know everyone has noticed my mood but isn’t saying anything.
“So what are the plans for tonight” Jess finally asks referring to the shirts me and Lucy had to pick up on our way here.
“Basically we have to go to work wearing a top with a stupid saying on it,” Lucy grumbles back making me chuckle softly, Lucy hates the theme nights at the club. “Who comes up with these things anyway?” she complains to me.
“Will does” I answer not looking up from my drink.
“Will he be there tonight?” she asks cautiously. I nod at my cup, tonight is the first night I will be seeing him since that night last week when he told me my dad was having an affair and I have a brother that is Will’s step son.
“Will you be okay?” Jess asks putting a comforting hand on my arm.
“I’ll be fine, I’m sure he will keep his distance and probably stay in the office for most of the night, it can’t be easy for him either, he was best friends with my dad and he’s married to a woman who loved him and has to look at that little boy everyday and see my dad in him” I shrug. I think I have come to terms with it a little better now.
“Tucker came by to see me this morning” I tell them frowning.
“What did he say?” Jess asks she knows more about our relationship than Lucy does. I’m not sure why I have held back on some of the things I have told Lucy about Tucker but I don’t really feel comfortable talking to her about him.
“It was a little strange, he came over to talk about what happened before I left and then once all was said and done and we’d both apologized for the past, he just walked out” I frown again remembering that he just stood up and left.
“What do you mean?” Lucy says with her own frown.
“We were talking and he just stood up and walked out, didn’t say anything to me, no goodbye or anything… just left without a word,” I shrug still not understanding. “I’m glad we talked though, I feel a lot better about him being here now” I admit.
“Well as long as you’re happy because it looks like he’s going to be sticking around for a while” Jess puts in.
I open the bag at my feet and look at my top for t
he first time since collecting it. Once I see what is printed on it I quickly shove it back into my bag.
“Oh my god, what does yours say?” I ask Lucy who looks into her bag and pulls out a neon pink tee the same as mine just hers has ‘Pat me’ printed on the back with an arrow pointing down.
“I’m going to kill him!” she sighs shaking her head “yours?” she asks and I hold up my top that has two hand prints on the chest area and underneath in capitol letter its reads ‘Squeeze me’
“Think we can get him one that has a target over his chest that reads ‘shoot me´?” I ask hopefully only half joking.
Both girls just laugh and we say our goodbyes to go get ready for what is obviously going to be a terrible night.
When I walk into the club it is already starting to fill up quickly. I spot Lucy and Will in some sort of discussion, Lucy seems to shouting at him but Will just looks slightly amused. I head over there to see what the problem is.
“If one more person touches my ass” Lucy is shouting at him.
“Hey, it could be worse Luce!” I say as I join them and point to my chest, I have a shirt on undone over it and glare at Will.
“We were going to get you one but with what we were thinking about having printed on it, there would have been too much blood” I tell him but it has no effect on him. He seems to be enjoying himself.
I look around and can’t quite believe my eyes; he has turned the club into some sort sex themed carnival. There’s a kissing booth that I’m sure he expects me and Lucy to take turns in. Two big stands catch my eye there are two big digital weighing scales on barstools with signs above them reading ‘If this reaches one hundred Brooke will do a bar dance, coins only’ the other one reads “If this reaches one hundred Lucy will do a pole dance, coins only”.
“We don’t even have a pole,” I turn to Will confused and a little shocked. He points towards the stage and I see a temporary stripper pole has been put up. “You’re kidding me” I mutter.
“I’m not doing it, I’ve already told him to take the sign down” Lucy says loudly.
“Brooke you’re going to have to take the shirt off” Will instructs me smiling.
I shrug and remove my shirt so I’m just in my tee. I hear someone laugh behind me and turn my head to see Andrew and Tucker shaking their heads at me.
“What?” Will asks. I turn around for him and show him the back of my top. “You’ve ruined it!” He complains making Lucy laugh.
“I have to make people work for it” I tell him sweetly referring to the message on the back of my top that I added earlier, it reads ‘Only if you punch the manager first’
“Sometimes ,I really dislike you” he grumbles and walks back into the office defeated. I shrug and get out my pen to write the same on Lucy’s back.
“I love you” she sighs laughing and we both get to work serving the customers.
Andrew and Tucker spend the night teasing us about how quick our scales are filling up and asking when we will be going into the kissing booth, we get through it by ignoring them.
“I really don’t want to do the pole dance” Lucy says to me worrying her bottom lip as she watches a group of men add money to her scales.
“I’ll swap with you if you want?” I offer, obviously we are going to need to do something because people are paying to see us do these things. She nods at me and I pull her up onto the bar with me I grab a mic and address the crowd.
“Firstly, we would like to thank you for the money you have all put into tonight. I’m not sure what great cause the money will be going to as I’m not talking to the man who arranged it all at the moment. I also have two announcements to make. Lucy and I will be switching our dances, she will dance on the bar and I will dance on the pole,” The crowd cheer and I hear someone shout kissing booth, I look down and see Andrew and Tucker still laughing. “The second announcement is that Lucy and I won’t be going into the kissing booth,” The mean all boo and groan. “Instead ladies these two very handsome men will be,” I watch as the two men stop laughing and look up at me, the women in the club all cheer “That’s right, the lead singer of our in house band Tucker, will be in there along with the man you are all used to seeing on the bar with me, Andrew. Now pucker up ladies because they are very good at what they do” I wink at the crowd as the women’s cheers turn into screams.
Laughing Lucy and I jump down from the bar.
“You’re going to pay for this” Andrew glares at me.
“Wanna bet?” I smirk at him, knowing I have won this round.
They both quickly accept their challenge and start pointing out to each other which girls they want in their line. Shaking my head at them, I head back to help Lucy at the bar. .
six
At the club I can’t stop smiling to myself. My happiness is infectious and everyone notices.
“Are you going to tell me why you look so pleased with yourself?” Lucy asks smiling.
“I’m just happy that’s all” I answer grinning.
“Any why are you so happy today?”
“Promise to keep it to yourself?” I ask looking around. She nods and leans in so I whisper to her or at least talk quieter than shouting over the band.
“I’ve just come back from my date” not able to keep the excitement out of my voice.
“With who?” she asks just as excitedly.
“Morgan, I met him last week, he sold me my new car”
“What’s he like?” she giggles in my ear. Honestly we are like a pair of school girls.
“Gorgeous” I sigh dreamily.
“What are you two whispering about?” Andrew comes up behind us making us both jump back and swap guilty looks. He raises an eyebrow at us both. “Okay now you have to tell me”
“Uhh ….” I trail off and he turns to Lucy expectantly.
“Umm … we were talking about lingerie?” she says but it comes out like a question.
He narrows his eyes at us and walks off. We turn back to the bar and get to work every so often giggling at each other as she asks me a question about Morgan and I answer her grinning. We get a few questioning looks but they just make us smile wider.
The next week flies by I see Morgan everyday and work at the club every night.
No one apart from Lucy knows I’m dating someone. It is a little strange dating while Tuckers in town but I have managed to keep it from him so far. I’m not sure how he would react to the news but I have to watch him flirt and leave the club with a different girl every few days so he can’t complain if I do the same.
Once again I find myself thrown over Andrews shoulder as we enter the bar. Everyone cheers and laughs as he carries me through the bar and deposits me on the bar. I snatch the mic he hands me and cross my arms. Full on tantrum mode much to everyone’s amusement.
Everyone in the club starts chanting “What’s the bet?” even my friends have joined in.
“Brooke’s pulling out of a bet” Andrew calls shaking his head at the crowd.
“I said no bet Andrew” I snap in my mic more forcefully that I have ever said anything before.
“Then you shouldn’t have accepted it” he shrugs at me laughing.
“I only accepted it because I thought there was no way I could lose” I sulk.
“Well you did, so now you have to face the consequences” He sighs as if it troubles him to make me do these things.
“I’m not doing it. I mean it. No bet” I stubbornly hold my place, not changing my mind there is no way I will do it. I know Morgan’s in the club but I refuse to look at him until I have solved this argument.
“Give my one good reason why I should let you out of it” Andrew says to me making me glower at him.
I lean down on the bar and try to get Lucy’s help.
“You have to help me out here. He wants me to do a strip tease” I stop so she can finish laughing. “I wouldn’t do it anyway but normally I would go along with it and play it up without actually taking any clothes off”
“Because Morgan’s here and I don’t want him to think he’s dating a stripper” I whisper quickly and relax as she gets serious.
“You can’t ask her to do that” Lucy shouts up at Andrew as I stand and take my place next to him again.
“Why the hell not?” He demands. “She …”
I cut him off leaning up to him and whispering in his ear. “I don’t want the man I’m dating to think he’s going out with a stripper Andrew. Cut me some slack please” I beg.
I stand back and wait for his reaction. His eyes swing to Tucker who frowns at us and then he looks back at me I shake my head at his assumption and discreetly with my eyes I gesture to the crowd.
“Fine” he sighs into his mic “But you’re not off the hook. I will think of something else”
I feel my whole body relax with relief and finally search for Morgan in the crowd, when I find him he is watching me smiling. I grin down at him and roll my eyes making him chuckle. I’ve told him all about the bets and trouble I get myself into with them. He finds the whole thing amusing but somehow I don’t think me pretending to strip in front of a club full of people would have the same effect. We both jump down from the bar, I go and hug Lucy gratefully and discreetly point Morgan out in the crowd for her then we go to work while Andrew sits on a bar stool grumpily thinking about another forfeit.
“You’re not going to start being boring now that you have a boyfriend are you?” he pouts at me.
“No, I just don’t want to take it too far, just tone it down a touch when he’s in here please. I’d really appreciate it if you’d let him think I’m slightly normal”
“Fine” he grumbles.
About an hour has passed since I came here and Morgan still hasn’t come over to see me, the bar has been busy but he hasn’t acknowledged me at all since I was on the bar. He has been looking my way with a strange expression though I frown to myself into the drink I’m pouring.