Bet Me (Finding My Way) Read online

  “Let’s get it over with” I say defeated.

  “Hey now, we don’t rush this,” he scolds me playfully, which gets a small smile from me. “As you all know it was Brooke’s birthday yesterday and she chose to celebrate it with all the people she loves, that is all of you guys,” he tells the crowd and is rewarded by a loud cheer. “But now, she asks you all to go easy on her tonight, she’s not real happy tonight guys, because the one man Brooke loves and wanted to be here last night couldn’t make it, so we need to do our best to try and cheer her up” he pulls me under his arm and kisses my forehead soothingly as another tear rolls down my cheek.

  Andrew joins us on the bar looking confused and worried as he stands next to me. The DJ puts on ‘Bed of roses’ so it’s its soft background music and before I can stop it from happening, I’m transported back to the night before my life turned to hell.

  “Sing to me daddy” I giggle up at him as I snuggle down into my bed.

  “What do you want me to sing baby girl” he whispers softly kissing my head.

  “The one about the flowers” I beg making him chuckle.

  “The truth is baby your all that I need” I giggle as he starts the song not from the beginning but from my favourite part, it’s our tradition. “I wanna lay you down in a bed of roses…tonight I sleep on a bed of nails … I want to be just as close as the holy ghost is … and lay you down on bed of roses…

  “Well I’m so far away … That each step I take is on my way home”

  I can hear the cry the rip through me before it even leaves my lips. I watch as Sophie, Matt and Tucker all run towards me and Andrew grips me into a hug. “I need …” I gasp.

  “You need what honey?” he asks soothingly.

  “The… the … the song” I try again.

  “What about it?”

  “Turn it off” I beg as I try to control my sobs and stop the memories that come back to me as the chorus plays again. I hear Andrew say something to someone but I strengthen my grip on him, hoping he can pull me away from the crash that’s going to happen.

  “You turned eleven today baby. You know what that means don’t you”

  I nod up at him and put on a serious face “It means I’m a grown up now”

  I smile as his soft laughter washes over me.

  “It means you’re a big girl now” he says as he tickles me.

  “Wait, you’re not going to leave me are you daddy?”

  “No baby, I’ll never leave you silly. I love you”

  “I’m going to marry a man exactly like you when I’m proper grown up cause you’re the best daddy in the world” I wrap my arms around his neck.

  “No, you’re the best sweetie and I’d kill anyone who ever tells you any different”

  “No one would dare when my dad’s so big and strong” I giggle when he lifts his arms flexes his muscles letting me plant a kiss on them. ”Your silly daddy”

  “I wish we could stay in this night forever baby” He says tucking me into bed properly.

  “Why?” I ask and feel my eyebrows pull in.

  “Because, I never want you to grow up and move away from me. I want to keep you sweet and innocent like this forever” he says simply and kisses my nose one last time.

  “Night daddy, Love you always”

  “Sweet dreams baby girl. Love you forever” he says from the doorway and watches me as I feel my eyes grow heavy.

  That was the last time I ever saw him.

  I focus my eyes on the club and everyone is watching me, the DJ has changed the background music to an eighties pop song I note gratefully. Matt, Tucker and Sophie are all watching me, stood on the bar now themselves. I pull away from Andrews hug and wipe away my tears again.

  “Brooke?” Andrew asks, frowning.

  “Help me” I whisper back.

  “Happy Birthday baby girl” he kisses my cheek and folds something small into my hand.

  “What is it daddy?” I ask opening my eyes, we’re in the kitchen, everyone else is out the back at my birthday party.

  “It’s a special present just for you from me. You have to promise that you will look after it and never tell mommy about it okay” he’s looking into my eyes, I’m not sure why so I just nod and run up to my bedroom. I open my hand and pick up the yellow necklace it’s a little heart.

  I lower myself to my knees on the bar and clutch at the chain that still hangs around my neck.

  I open the heart and read the message inside. “Never give up on what you love” I don’t really know what it means but I know I love my dad and I would never give up on him so I hide my special present inside a sock and hide it under my mattress. I will only take it out when I move away.

  I shake my head to get rid of the memories. Tucker’s crouched in front of me.

  “Are you okay, Brooke?” he asks softly.

  Looking into his eyes, I’m reminded that everyone who has claimed to love or care for me has left me no choice but to carry on my own no matter what they are leaving me with.

  “What have you done?” My step dad screams at me holding up a bloodied bed sheet.

  “I don’t know it happened last night” I cower away from him, I’m not sure why I feel scared but my body is telling me to protect myself. My step father has always creeped me out but never scared me before.

  “I knew it wouldn’t take much longer” he snarls at me, I curl myself into a ball on my bed not sure what’s going on with my body but he doesn’t like it.

  “It’s not my fault, I didn’t mean it to happen ... I’m sorry” I’m crying now.

  “It is your fault,” his voice is soft now as he walks over to me. “You’re a whore,” He lands a punch on me making me scream out. “Remember that” he says from my doorway then leave me to cry.

  I flinch and clutch my stomach involuntarily remembering the very first time he hit me.

  “What did you do?” My mother screams at me.

  I’m still led on my bed crying and clutching my stomach.

  “He hit me mom!” I beg her with my eyes, hoping she will save me somehow.

  “You deserve it” she snarls at me.

  “But ... I thought you loved me?” I whimper.

  “No one could ever love you. No one ever has loved you” she shuts my bedroom door, leaving me alone once again.

  Tucker is still waiting for me to answer his question I realize.

  This is what my dad left me to live through. Did he not care? Anger washes over me.

  I nod up at Tucker and he pulls me up taking his place behind me.

  “Let’s do this” I croak into my mic at Will who nods at me and we all turn as Lucy hands us all a shot of my dads’ favourite drink. Jack Daniels.

  I don’t like it but it’s the only thing I will be drinking tonight and it will get me drunk enough to forget at least for a night.

  “Go ahead Brooke” Will encourages me gesturing to my mic. I turn to face the crowd and take a deep breath getting ready for the hardest part.

  “As you have all noticed, I’m a bit of a mess tonight. I’m sorry for being depressing but like a trooper; I’m going to bring you all down with me.

  “If any of you have ever loved someone, you know how good that feels. That one person, who can make everything okay with just a smile, can make you laugh when you just want to cry. Makes you understand why you are alive when you just want to end it. That person who no matter what happens, will always be there for you. The one who will do everything he can to make sure you never get hurt… But then you wake up and that person isn’t there for you anymore. When they are no longer around to make you laugh or hold you when you cry. Not there to tell you everything will be okay when clearly it isn’t going to be. Not there to see you through the painful nights.

  “I’ll tell you what happened. You got lied to. Plain and simply you got fooled.”

  “But do you know what? We don’t need anyone, no one is there for you forever, no matter how much they promise they will be” I look
around and ignore the confused looks I’m getting. “So I ask you to raise your glasses, full of this disgusting drink and join me in a toast.

  “To the lies that break your fucking heart” I shout as I throw my drink back and wince when it burns my throat.

  “Jesus, bad break up?” Andrew asks me but looks at the crowd frowning as he catches the eye of every man I have ever spoken to.

  “Sorry Brooke, but I’m going to argue your toast.” Will says into his mic looking determined. “He never lied to you”

  “Yes he did,” I reply stubbornly swirling around to face him, I can feel my hand holding the mic shaking. Sophie, Matt and Andrew all step aside so I can see Will clearly. “You don’t know that”

  “He loved you,” he insists “Still does”

  “Who?” Andrew and Sophie ask at the same looking between me and Will.

  “If he loved me, he wouldn’t have left”

  “He had no choice” he says softly.

  “There’s always a choice” I snap back at him.

  “He was having an affair Brooke” he informs me.

  “What?” I screech making everyone wince and I take a step toward him.

  My dad was happy he loved me; he would never leave me for someone else, even if he wasn’t happy with my mom.

  “He loved you, of course he did. But he was having an affair with someone else up here, she was pregnant,” he says sadly. “He had to leave to raise the baby, he had no choice”

  I lift my leg to lunge at him for saying such a ridiculous lie about my dad. He told me he loved me! He wouldn’t leave me for someone else. I’m sure of it. I saw the look in his eyes when he looked at me. You can’t fake that kind of love. Before my foot reaches the ground I’m pulled back with my arms around my back. “Let me go Tucker” I growl up at him.

  He shakes his head at me keeping his eyes on Will.

  “Why are you telling me this?” I yell out at Will who made no attempt to step back from my attack.

  “Because, you think he didn’t love you. He did, he just had no choice but to leave you. I’m sorry Brooke. It’s over”

  “Who is she?” I demand. “Do I know her?”

  He nods his head at me. “You’ve met her and her son”

  I scan quickly through the people I have met that have a twelve year old son. Will’s wife and son drift to the front of my mind and feel the blood drain from my head as I remember looking at his son, there was something familiar about him when I met him, but I ignored it. It’s been under my nose this whole time.

  He looks exactly like my dad just with his mothers eyes.

  “You bastard” I whisper but I know he has heard me because he winces.

  “I’m so sorry Brooke” he says and then jumps from the bar.

  I watch as he leaves the club. I try to run after him but Tuckers hold on me is too tight. I struggle against him but he doesn’t let go instead he lowers us both off the bar and walks me into the office. I hear the music go up around the club again. He doesn’t let me go until Matt comes into the office and stands in front of the door. As soon as he lets me go I make a run for the door but Matt stops me. Frustrated I walk over to Wills desk and pick up the frame that holds a photo of his family. Looking at it closely now I can’t see how I ever missed the resemblance. Crying, I throw the frame at the wall and as it smashes I hit the ground putting my head in my knees and cry like I haven’t since the day he died.

  The boys let me cry it out and no one says anything until there’s a knock at the door, Matt lets Sophie in and she hands me a glass of water and a shot of something I’m not sure what it is but I don’t care anymore.

  “Well, I think you need to find a new job” Sophie says nudging my shoulder with her own.

  “Why?” I sniff “Has everyone left?”

  “Ummm no, but you just tried to attack your boss” she explains.

  “Will isn’t my boss, I’m his. I’m the owner. He’s the manager,” I shrug when they all stare at me open mouthed. “I saved a lot by being the quiet girl in uni and I had an inheritance that I invested. It did well”

  “Oh” Is all she says.

  “Want to tell me what that was all about?” she asks nervously.

  “Not really, no”

  “Well, whoever it was I’m sure he was an asshole” Matt puts in.

  “No, it’s my own fault I’m not enough, never enough” I sigh getting up.

  “When I asked you last night if you’ve … you know … since …” she trails off.

  “It’s not like that” I shake my head at her knowing where her thoughts have taken her.

  “Are you going to be okay?” Tucker asks watching me closely.

  “Everything I’ve ever known is a lie. Who knows maybe everyone is right and I really am just a whore, I should remember that” I shrug and walk out of the office leaving them speechless knowing that all three of them have called me a whore at some point.

  I take another shot of Jack Daniels just to prove a point, what that point is I don’t know but I know I want to prove it. I jump up on the bar and grab the mic the music stops and I don’t turn around when I hear the office door open and then close a few seconds later.

  “Okay everyone, enough of the depressing,” they cheer making me smile “Half of my life has been a lie, the other half I have spent being the little good girl you all know so well. I say let’s get rid of the bullshit, it’s time to be a bit naughty, what do you think?” I shout and laugh when they all cheer and clap. “Who’s going to get naughty with me?” I ask and wince slightly as about seventy “me” screams go up around the club loudly.

  “How naughty are we talking?” Andrew asks on the bar with me once again.

  “How naughty can you handle?” I ask smirking at him.

  “I can handle you, honey” he grins back at me.

  “Wanna bet?” I ask making him and everyone around us laugh.

  “Okay, okay, I like where this is going, let’s turn this into a challenge. Luce help us out here please,” he pulls her up before he has a chance to refuse and passes her a mic. “You set the challenges and overall looser has to do a forfeit and remember the naughtier the better” he winks at me.

  “Okay guys, first one to get back on the bar without an item of clothing, you can’t remove it yourself though” Lucy commands. “Go!” the crowd erupts and Andrew smirks at me as he makes his way towards a group of women, I turn around and eye Lucy, Matt and Tucker then jump down in front of them.

  “You owe me” I say to Tucker laughing at his expression.

  “What did I do?” he smiles at me probably thankful that my dark mood has now been forgotten.

  “You held me back from hitting Will. Now come on get on with it!” I instruct still laughing.

  “What do you want me to do?” he asks nervously.

  I unbutton my shirt and tie it then pull my shorts down a touch so the top of my thong is showing “Rip it off” I instruct straight faced “I know you can do it” grinning he does it and hands me my underwear. I jump back on the bar laughing at a topless Andrew trying to get back to the bar but being pulled back by women.

  “We have a winner!” Lucy yells and everyone cheers at me.

  “No we don’t she hasn’t taken anything off!” Andrew complains when he’s back on the bar. I pass him my underwear and laugh as he looks impressed.

  “It’s one – nil to Brooke” she announces

  “Uhh did you hear that? That sounds good!” I tease

  “Okayso you each get one song to impress a member of the opposite sex” She challenges.

  “Are we allowed to have sex?” Andrew asks making everyone laugh.

  “No,” Lucy laughs. “Now go” she says as the DJ starts playing “Dirrty” I jump down off the bar and head towards the stage on my way I grab Derek’s hand and pull him up off his chair when he’s standing I grab his chair as well and pull him onto the stage. He’s laughing when I sit him down but as soon as I start giving him a lap dance his
laughter fades. I dance around him and on him for the whole song then stand when it finishes. I look around but can’t spot Andrew.

  “How’d he do?” Lucy asks a brunette in the crowd it’s then I notice that he’s stood behind her. She puts her thumbs up and smiles.

  “How’d Brooke do Derek?” Lucy asks turning everyone attention to us.

  “He grins and nods at her” I kiss his cheek and he grabs my head to whisper in my ear. “Umm, I kind of need to stay here for a bit” I laugh as I pull away and understand what he means.

  “Do you want to come up and tell us how good she did?” Lucy asks him.

  He shifts in his chair and shakes his head grinning sheepishly. The whole club laughs and I’m announced the winner of that round as well.

  We meet back at the bar and straddle it instead of standing on it as Lucy gives us our last challenge.

  “Okay so last challenge of the night. You both need to turn on someone from the opposite sex but you’re not allowed to touch them” Who’s going to go first?” she asks.

  “I will” I announce into my mic and give my full attention to Andrew who grins at me.

  “Do your worst baby” he says into his mic.

  I scoot a little closer to him and lift my mic talking softly in it getting the attention of everyone in the club.

  “Imagine we’re in my bedroom… I walk up to you slowly and start undressing you, once I have you completely naked I push you down on the bed and crawl over you, as I’m hovering above you I start undressing myself … I lean in … my face just inches from yours … I move slowly, bringing our mouths closer together … I touch my lips to yours and run my tongue over your bottom lip… I move my head to trail kisses along your jaw … behind your ear … down your neck … stopping to suck softly at your collar bone … I keep moving and run my lips and tongue over your chest … I softly kiss my way down your belly … my hair tickling you as I go … I slip my tongue inside your belly button and suck softly … I run my hands up your thighs and trail kisses across you from hip to hip watching as your cock starts twitching … I keep kissing around it … never touching … I go further down and kiss the inside of your thighs … still avoiding the one place you want my mouth … I run my tongue over your balls and my breath on them causes you to shiver … I finally give in and run my tongue up the length of you … I push the head of your cock into my mouth and suck softly … Running my tongue around the tip in circles I look up and watch you watch me … Cupping your balls I move up onto my knees and take your cock into my mouth … slowly … deeply … savouring the taste of you … I start moving back and forth … sucking and licking … I can feel you growing even harder in my mouth … You taste so good .. it’s making me wet … I moan into your cock … making your cock vibrate with my voice … with one last push I take you all the way down to the core … I slowly release you and sit up … hovering over you and I push myself up with my hands … Anticipation is thick in the air … both of us know what’s going to happen … and it does … slowly … I take you in my hand … I rub the tip of you around my wet entrance … I slowly lower myself onto you … It feels so good … you … filling me completely …” I look up at Lucy “Is that enough or shall I continue?”